angst-a-go-go

[the_siobhan]

I'm trying to decide what I am going to do about my job.

I have gotten to the point where I just can't fucking stand it there any more. The work is boring. The boss is a cunt. The drama and the backstabbing and pettiness and the constant fucking bitching is mind-numbing. The pay is shit. The shifts are killing me. (The new schedule has me working all three shifts in a fortnight period.) I'm at the point where I dread going -- and I'm feeling trapped, which is Siobhan's Number One Psychosis Trigger of All Time.

I knew this place was going to have a two-year lifespan before it started driving me nuts. And I've been there for just over that.

But this is the thing, I stay there because it's really really flexible. I can get holidays whenever I want them. I can switch shifts with people if there are specific times I need to get off.

The work I do for LD50 requires a lot of weird-ass hours. I spend a surprising amount of time talking to people who keep office hours, so being able to be accessable during a weekday is a distinct advantage. But I'm also constantly dealing with situations where I'm at shows and venues at night, and at least half of the other people in the company work 9-5, so having my evenings free on a semi-regular basis is essential. Give me a couple of full days off in the middle of the week, and I can accomplish 90% of my to-do list in a couple of days. But having every weekend booked would get right in the way.

So even though I hate hate hate the shifting schedule it's the main advantage to keeping this job. It also sure as hell doesn't hurt that I can be home to deal with contractors when some part of the house falls off.

If I had a year or two where I could work on LD50 and NOTHING ELSE, I'm convenced I could make it profitable enough to support me. But I don't have the money to take that time off of everything else, so it only gets my attention half of the time.

If I go for another job in the same company, I'd have to work static shifts. I could hunt for a job elsewhere, but that takes time. And I'm fucking swamped to the tits now, I honestly don't know how the hell I could find the resources to job hunt on top of everything else that I'm doing.

But if I stay -- I'm miserable.

I really have no fucking clue what I'm going to do.

Comments

[elusis.livejournal.com]

It's a rotten situation you find yourself in.

I can empathize a bit, what with trying to prize myself away from The Job by ramping The Career up slowly which translates into "working two jobs" a lot of the time. And not having enough time to take the steps necessary to really fuel-inject The Career. Then there's the whole "I should be writing a dissertation" problem...

So I am feeling your sense of being burnt out and trapped.

All I can say is, break each large problem down into smaller bits and pick bits that seem do-able.

Is there any way to talk to your job people about getting you a schedule that's a little less insane? Rotating among 3 shifts is just hazardous to one's health, and bad for one's effectiveness at work.

Re:

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

The person in charge of the department left and the office wank who is temporarily doing the schedule hates it, hates us, sucks at it, and is a screaming cunt anyway.

When her screw-ups actually violate the union rules about spacing shifts we've been able to get them changed, but that's about it. The only real stability will come once we get a dedicated person in the department again, one who doesn't resent being there.

There's a full-time slot opening up soon and I'm next in line for senority. (I'm technically permanent part-time.) If I take it it will mean stat holidays off, fewer weekends and no more shift flipping mid-schedule. BUT it will also mean $200 less per paycheque.

bangs head on desk

Maybe I'll just rob a bank.

Re:

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

However

Somebody just suggested to me that I show my schedule to health & safety and see what they say.

Definitely worth a try.