I is for Intimidation

[the_siobhan]

I have a new phone.

I didn't want a new phone. I liked my old phone. It was from the age of the dinosaurs and it did two things; phone calls and text messages. No internet. No bluetooth. No camera. It didn't even have a menu - it didn't need a menu because it didn't do anything.

I loved that phone because it was indestructible. I must have drop-kicked that bastard a half-dozen times, and never put a dent in it. It was built like a brick.

Alas, even bricks must die and the battery is finally giving up the ghost. So I ordered a new phone.

The new phone is very thin and very shiny. It has a browser and a camera and it downloads "skins" and it plays music and makes coffee and has God on speed-dial. I can't figure out how to use the phone book, but I can choose any song ever recorded in the 80's as a ring tone.

And now I'm afraid to make a phone call because I'm convinced that if I point the damn thing towards NATO and press the wrong combination of buttons I'll launch a nuclear strike.

Comments

[ashbet]

You and I are very much in accordance on the phone thing. As it is, my phone is insufficiently dinosaurian because it has multiple obnoxious ringtone choices (which cause some of my friends to refer to it as the "Covenantphone," because it's beepy and midi.) I miss my old phone (on my previous plan) which did even less and didn't have a display screen.

Eventually, I'm going to have no choice but to get a phone which has a camera function, and it's going to prove to be impossible for me not to end up e-mailing my entire contacts list a picture of my ass or the inside of my purse ;P

-- A <3

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I liked my old phone. I liked it so much that when the battery died I found that they still sold it and paid £30 for a new battery when I could have got upgraded to a new phone for free. That was worth it for the looks on the faces of the staff in the phone shop. However, about two years ago I had unexpected Total Phone Death and ended up with a new one with a camera.

I have never figured out how to take pictures with it. I would be even more incapable of getting them off it. I still don't do anything except make calls & send text messages. I'm even still so crap at text messages that it's a standing joke amongst my friends.

[ashbet]

Oh, man, me too -- I'm famous for sending one-word replies to text messages, or occasionally just remembering to check them weeks after the fact. Oops.

-- A (besides, if their phones are so fancy, they can SEND ME A BLOODY E-MAIL. Hehe!)

[liz-lowlife.livejournal.com]

If you have been reading my journal lately, then you will know that our stars are clearly aligned when it comes to phones...

[greylock.livejournal.com]

And it will last somewhere between 6-9 months before dying somehow.

[minwee.livejournal.com]

Somewhere in the world, there must still be a phone that lets you _dial numbers_ and _talk to people_.

So far, I haven't found it. At the rate things are going it won't be long before those two are optional features.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I saw a news article a while back about a cell phone marketed to seniors that 1) had oversized buttons, and 2) did just that: dialed people so you could talk to them. And that was IT. [sigh]

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I *hate* new phones.

It was almost a relief when the replacement phone I tried to buy 6 months ago turned out to be janky so I could just get my money back. I decided my mostly-broken hinge could continue to be mostly-broken until it decided to be totally-broken and THEN I would deal with replacing it.